it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i love accidental penises.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
a search helicopter?!
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
