I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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