And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize