I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she pinky promised me she was 18
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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