I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
A+ Viking dick
Randomize
