Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
