either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
