we're blogging at a bar
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
