Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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