And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Randomize
