i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
