we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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