I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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