did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
This house was built for laser tag.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
