also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
