3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
