I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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