batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize