Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
