i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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