I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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