but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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