So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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