I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.