seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
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Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
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The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.