I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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