apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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