this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
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i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
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The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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