I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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