That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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