they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
