I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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