Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
