she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
time to smoke my breakfast
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
