im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
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Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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