Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
