dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
