I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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