your thong is hanging out like whoa
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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