Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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