even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
