No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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