You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
