Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
