But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
