But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
