You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
