i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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