So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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