If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i think i have two assholes
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
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I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
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