I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
