my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Dick very happy bro
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
