Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
