Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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