he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
