none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
