These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
