that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
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Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
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Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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